I Am Not A Crunchy Mom

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I am not a crunchy mom.

I mean, after all, I use disposable diapers! Sure, they're made from plant based materials and are fragrance free… but I'm not using cloth diapers!

I am not a crunchy mom!

I buy jars of baby food at the store for my kiddo! Sure, I only buy organic and sometimes my husband makes baby food at home… but the squeeze pouches must count for something, right?

I am NOT a crunchy mom!!

This internal struggle was futile. I don't know why I bothered. 

Growing up, the term "crunchy" was so insulting. The crunchy moms made their kids eat kale and quinoa. They didn't believe in doctors and probably thought essential oils could cure cancer. They just weren't normal.

I'd be a normal mom when I grew up. I just knew it.

And now here I am. I had a home birth. I didn't vax my baby. We chose not to circumcise. I swear by homeopathic remedies. I don't buy toys with loud, obnoxious noises and bright, flashing lights. I breastfeed and co-sleep and I plan to homeschool. Crunch. Crunch. Crunch.

How did this happen? 

I think, in part, it's how I was raised. My parents weren't hippies, by any means. But growing up in a small Russian town, using home remedies was a normal part of the culture out of necessity. Sore throat? Black radish and honey for a cough syrup. Prunes for constipation. Body aches? Go to the banya (steam bath). And for almost everything else, vodka was a sure cure. (I'm only a little bit joking about that.)

I asked my mom about this and she said that maybe it was different in major cities like Moscow or Saint Petersburg, but out in the little towns, at least at that time, there wasn't access to a large variety of medicines. You just didn't go to the doctor for every little issue because there was no point. You were better off just figuring out how to deal with it yourself, at home.

Beyond my upbringing, I realized at some point in my twenties that my health was my responsibility. Full stop. 

For example: I saw a dermatologist about my eczema. She prescribed a topical cortisone and recommended a soap. Well then. That's fine for the ugly flare ups, but why was it happening in the first place? She couldn't give me an answer. "It's just something that happens to about 10% of the population." Fun trivia fact but it did nothing for me in terms of effectively treating my condition.

I started paying more attention to my body's reactions to things. How do I feel when I eat sugar or bread? What makes my eczema flare up? What happens if I actually stay hydrated?

This got me interested and invested in my own health. I started researching things. 

Eczema could be reduced by staying properly hydrated, I read. Okay, let's experiment!

I would drink a gallon of water a day, but still feel thirsty and manifest symptoms of dehydration. Well that was weird. So I'd read books and search online and ask people about their experiences. I learned that my body needed certain minerals to absorb and utilize the water I was drinking. I would try it out and find that I felt better! My eczema got less aggressive! Aha! A discovery!

This was satisfying, so I'd be encouraged to keep going. What else could I learn about my health?

And so it went. And so it still goes!

That's not to say that doctors are useless. Far from it! I take my son to the pediatrician regularly and I think people should see doctors when there's any question about any kind of potentially dangerous physical condition. But my health (and that of my baby) is ultimately my responsibility. Nobody else's. 

If that philosophy makes me crunchy, I can live with that.

I don't do it for the sake of crunchiness, though. I'm still not on the essential oils train - my research has yet to lead me down that road. Kale is gross. I couldn't bring myself to even think about eating my placenta. I was even planning on having my baby at the hospital (you can read about why I changed my mind here).

It just so happens that some of these crunchy ideas aligned with my research and understanding of health and wellness. So the challenge is (and it really is a challenge, sometimes) that you have to know how to do research, come to logical conclusions and then, and this can be tough, stick to your guns and don't just give in to peer pressure. 

Another example:

"Everybody gets the vitamin K shot". Peer pressure at its finest. "Your baby could die if you don't give him the shot." If you need to go straight to a threat to give my baby a drug, without even trying to explain how it works or why he might need it, you better believe I'm gonna doubt your credibility. "It's standard practice for all babies at this hospital." So the care isn't personalized for each patient? Seems suspicious to me.

I talked it over with my midwife, I did my own research, I weighed risks, benefits, and came to the conclusion that we wouldn't do vitamin K unless there was indication that it was necessary. We had it available in case it was needed. But at the end of the day it wasn't, and I have no regrets about my choice.

With every decision about my health or that of my kiddo, this is how it goes. Some may judge me for my choices, and that's alright. I try not to judge others for theirs, even when they are different from my own.

And on that note, I'm gonna go make myself a bowl of granola to crunch on.😉